


The Dreadful Adventures of Corazón de Ballena

by tnnyoh



Category: Dungeons & Dragons (Roleplaying Game), Oxventure
Genre: Corazon embellishes the hell out of his adventures btw, Other, Outside Xbox, Outside Xtra - Freeform, Unreliable Narrator, oxventure - Freeform, spicy rat, these are the kinds of things you'd see him send home
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-29
Updated: 2019-07-08
Packaged: 2019-09-30 03:39:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,658
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17216318
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tnnyoh/pseuds/tnnyoh
Summary: The adventures of astounding and extremely humble pirate, Corazón.  This is the collection of all the pirates Penny Dreadful series of adventures, with added commentary and very real additions that happened.  Please stop sending him correspondence to tell him you don't believe him.





	1. The Curse of The Treasure Trove part I

FOREWARD:

It is I, Corazón de Ballena. Formerly known as Corazón de Leon, still as badass as ever, possibly even more so. Have you seen this new coat I have?

_Badass_

This collection of Penny Dreadfuls details the adventures me and my friends have had since a chance meeting in Castor Falls several moons ago, many moons, possibly months, maybe even a year!

These events are one hundred percent true and totally happened the way I describe them, anyone who says otherwise is lying, I’m not the liar, you’re the liar.

These adventures may be unsuited for young children except perhaps friend of our guild, Alfred Strangetide who is featured rather a lot in several of these, you better not be at a tavern again, young man!

They may also be unsuited for those who are not radical enough to handle them.

Without further adieu (apparently ‘ado’ is not how to spell that, thank you Merilwen) here are the fantastic, amazing, and sometimes nautical adventures of me, Pyrate Extraordinaire!

_____________________________________________

Curly Joe looked through the spyglass and out over the horizon, he took a deep breath and passed the spyglass over to Corazón.

“Check it out Capt’” He said in a gruff sort of excited tone, “I think we found the right place”

Corazón looked through the spyglass and focused it on a small island that was said to hold untold riches, buried deep within an old tomb that hadn’t been touched by humans.

“Definitely” He agreed “This is the stuff of legends” He turned to face the rest of his crew “Alright, it’s time for work boys! Let’s get in, get out and haul as much booty as we possibly can”

“What did you say the name of our ship was again?” Curly Joe asked, watching the crew scramble to get prepared to raid the tomb.

“The Joyful Damnation,” Corazón said, proudly puffing out his chest

“And you uh… you have” Curly Joe started to clear his throat “You’ve done stuff like this before, right? You didn’t just… I dunno, trick us all into following you out here when you don’t know the first thing about being a pirate?”

Corazón hesitated for a minute before jumping off the top deck and landing stylishly on the deck beneath. “Of course I know what I’m doing, Curly Joe. I’m a pirate… I’ve totally been a pirate for a super long time”

Curly Joe raised an eyebrow “I mean uh, you keep saying stuff like that and it’s a bit weird I suspect that you showed up on the seas the same time a man rather fitting of your description went missing from high society…” He cleared his throat “From what I saw of the posters and all”

Corazón silently cursed as he remembered that several towns still had missing posters of him up, he remembered the first time he saw one. It wasn’t put up out of care for him, but because, as his father had stated in a letter, his antics were “embarrassing” to the family.

“ _I do this with a heavy heart, son, but if you continue to go against my wishes, I will have no choice but to completely cast you out of our family_ ” The letter had read, Corazón had scoffed upon reading it. How did his father know of his exploits? Because Corazón sent bi-weekly pamphlets back to his home in Hertfordshire with the hopes that his father would on some level, be proud of him.

Not that he cared very much, of course.

“It’s high society, Curly. Everyone looks exactly the same.” He said with a laugh “Now come down here and help me dock the ship”

“Uh-huh,” Curly said gruffly, Corazón wasn’t worried about him of course. He was too stupid to catch on to the fact that Corazón wasn’t being entirely truthful about his past, and about his knowledge of the seas.

As a matter of fact, Corazón himself had only been living his life as a pirate for several months, but it wasn’t as if he didn’t know what he was doing, he excelled at what he was doing, almost as if he were meant to be at seas, like he were born for this life and not the one that high society wanted for him.

He felt free on the water, there were no expectations from him except to simply be a good captain and sound like he knew what he was talking about. Everyone already explicitly trusted him.

He had been with this crew for a while, having met up with most of them shortly after he gave up his former life to live at sea and they had gone on a couple of adventures, but this one… This was the one that would make them rich beyond their wildest dreams, they would become men of legends!

Everything was perfect, he had done all the research and had been preparing for this trip weeks in advance…. He knew deep within himself that this was it, this was the one….

_So how the hell did it go so wrong?_

 


	2. The Curse of The Treasure Trove Part II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Corazon and his crew run into trouble deep within the mysterious caves, and not all of them make it out.

“Capt…” Jack Crackson whispered as they neared the edge of the cave “Are you… sure this is the right place?”

“Yep, I have it marked right here on this map that gypsy gave me”

“Stop questioning him” Curly Joe said, pushing past the two of them and stepping partway into the dark cave opening, Corazón pulled him back by his coat

“No, don’t go in there without a torch. It’s a cave… There could be bats, snakes… any other number of things that can bite you”

“Are you afraid of bats?” Curly asked

“Of course not!” Corazón said super convincingly “Just… let me get a torch out of here and find something to light it” He pulled his rucksack off his shoulder and started rifling through it to find a torch, while doing this he did not notice Curly Joe, Jack Crackson and several others rush ahead into the dark cave.

A wind picking up from the east blew his hair into his face, causing him to look up for the first time from his rucksack “Guys?” He said aloud, looking around for signs of his crew. They had gone ahead without him.

“What the…” He rose from the wet grass and peered into the cave opening, they must have run deep into the cave.

The wind howled around him, he looked at the sky and saw large storm clouds coming in. He knew they didn’t have much time to find this treasure and get back to port before the storm came. He dropped his rucksack and rushed into the dark to find his mates.

The mid evening light was left behind him as he made his way slowly into the cave opening. It was dark, damp and he could hear the chittering of bats close by, he pulled his hat down in an attempt to not get hassled by the small flying animals.

“Hello?” He called out

This was an uncharted island off the coast of a small village, when he was reading the maps and notes he had discovered he wondered why it was so unknown, especially to the locals and to pirates looking to loot treasure.

He recalled something from the notes about an old pirate who had ventured into these caves, he made it out alive but without any loot, when asked about it he would claim the caves were “cursed”

Corazón didn’t know if he believed any of that nonsense, in his travels (Which there have been many of, as he’s always been a pirate), he always found stories of cursed treasure, cursed islands, cursed bottles of rum. He supposed it just came with the territory. He looked at the walls of the cave, the torch light was flickering and causing shadows to bounce around him and up ahead, he saw something glint in the light, he rushed ahead and knelt down to inspect it.

It was a rusted silver escudo and he knew it belonged to one of his crew, he pocketed it and straightened up “Hello?” He said aloud, his voice echoing around the cave walls and hitting his ears. “Curly Joe?”

“Jack Crackson?”

He took a couple tentative steps forward, holding his torch high above his head, it smelled terrible in this cave, like a mix of urine and moldy grog, two smells he was extremely familiar with.

His footsteps were echoing in the cave and it was enough to nearly drive him mad, every other step he thought someone was following him, or would creep up behind him. After what seemed ages, he finally came upon a larger open area within the cave, no more winding tunnels and paths and he was grateful for that.

He stepped into the large rounded area, it seemed to be in worse shape than the rest of the cave somehow, light was surrounding the area but Corazón didn’t have a clue how, as it was blocked off from any light source available.

There was an eerie glow to the light and he scanned the room, on the far end was a glinting object, catching the strange light and reflecting it across the walls of the cave, making it look like shimmering water. Corazón stepped forward and held the torch tightly

And then he heard it

…..laughter

He whipped around so fast that he dropped the torch and the flame went out before it even hit the wet cave floor.

“Hello?” He said again, his voice was trembling and he felt unnaturally cold as if there was a breeze blowing around him, clinging to his skin.

“Curly, if this is one of your jokes… It’s not funny!” He shouted, none of his words echoed off the walls except the last one.

_“Funny”_

He could barely see anything in the dark cave, he didn’t even know which way was out… He closed his eyes and tried to piece the room together by remembering the light from his torch. There was a table to the east of him, he walked slowly and felt around with his hands.

He slammed right into the table, knocking various things to the ground with a loud clatter.

Suddenly, every torch sconce was lit all at once around the room. He froze in place, his heart thudding away in his chest. Where he was alone before, there were now several others in the room with him, Jack, Curly and two he forgot the names of…

“Corazón” Curly said, with a curt nod “What took you so long?”

“I uh… I…” Corazón tried to steady his breathing “I guess I got lost… How did you guys get back here so fast?”

“We walked, and we didn’t stop at every passing shadow to scream” Jack said with a sneer

Corazón warily rose from his crouch and looked at his crewmates “Why’d you guys run ahead of me?” He asked, ignoring Jack’s mocking

“Well we figured we’d have a head while you look for your torch and then somethin’ to light it with. We already found a bunch of stuff” He said with a toothy grin “Check it out”

He was holding a sack that had been empty when they arrived on the island, taken from the ship’s lower level and mostly used to store salt they stole from other ships, Jack had filled it to the brim with what looked like golden bars, escudos, and other unverifiable treasures.

Curly Joe approached the table behind Corazón “What’s all this?”

“I don’t know, I knocked some of it over in the dark” He scanned his eyes over the table, still covered in plenty of loot despite his klutzy behavior “Are you sure we’re going to be able to take this all back to the ship?”

“Course we are,” Curly Joe said gruffly “We’ll just take turns, make several trips..”

“This stuff is amazing,” Corazón said, taking an ornate piece of jewelry off the table and examining it “Can you even imagine how much this stuff is going to go for when we fence it?”

“Ah, we’ll live like kings!” a crewmember said from the back, Corazón recognized him as Theodore, though the crew called him Leather Armor Theodore… on account of his leather armor.

“Isn’t the point of being pirates… not living like kings? They represent everything we hate!” Vibrating Bill said

“But we hate everything”

“Not gold!”

“Not doubloons”

“Not Havana!”

“Let's go to Havana!”

Corazón turned to face his crew “Guys, can we chill a little bit? We’ll all have time to talk about what we hate and don’t hate when we’re safe on the ship with all this treasure… Now, are there any other rooms like this?” he asked Curly Joe

Curly scratched his head and shrugged “There’s one, but it’s got nothing in it except some old locked chest”

“Are you serious?” Corazón rolled his eyes “That’s probably like.. the most important thing in here! There’s probably… gold or something”

“There’s already gold out here though!” Vibrating Bill said

“I’m going to need you guys to go back down there and get that chest, bring it up here. I want to see it”

“Why don’t ya do it yourself?” Jack Crackson said with a hearty laugh as he and the others turned to head back down the path against the opposite wall that Corazón had come in.

He was left alone in the large room for a few moments, he leaned over to pick up a chalice that he had knocked over and studied the inscription on it. It seemed to be in Latin… Several of the words looked familiar.

When he heard the stories of this place, he had heard tell of many items being locked away and always wondered why if so many people visited this place or tried to, why was there no trace of anyone… no fingerprints, no footsteps, all the treasure still in one place…

His crew came back, heaving the heavy chest inches above the ground and letting it drop, Theodore jumped out of the way before it hit his foot “Watch it!” he shouted, the loud thud of the chest echoed off the walls as Corazón turned the chalice around to read the rest of the inscription.

“Give me a crowbar” Curly Joe said to one of the others, who obliged and handed him a rusty looking crowbar “Hey, Corazón, you want to help us with this?”

“Yeah, give me a second… I’m just looking at this”

“Put that damn cup down and help us out”

Corazón stared at the chalice, trying to place the symbols surrounding the inscription carved into its golden surface. He could have sworn that he saw it before. Again his mind turned back to that question, why was the treasure still here?

And then it hit him

He dropped the chalice as Curly Joe and Jack Crackson pried open the lid of the chest

“No!” He shouted, “Wait, don’t touch anything!”

“What are you talking about, Capt? This is why we came down ‘ere for!” Curly said, dropping the crowbar and leaning forward to inspect the contents of the chest, mostly a lot of dust and sprinkles of what appeared to be sand.

“Think about it for just a second, everything is still here... Nothing is missing… This is prime loot, if anyone came here before, if anyone found this place… All of this stuff shouldn’t be here, unless there was a reason they left it behind”

“You’re worrying about nothing,” Curly said

It happened so fast that Corazón didn’t even have a chance to react before a bright light enveloped the cavern, burning his eyes and making his skin feel hot. The screams of his crew echoed off the walls and imprinted in his mind... when he regained his vision, he saw them…

Creatures.

Shadows.

He had no idea what they were but he knew they came from the chest, from these cursed objects. He took a moments pause…. Curly Joe groaned from the ground, Jack Crackson tried to crawl away from the strange shadows.

And Corazón ran, he ran as fast as he could. Jumped over the forms of his old friends, ran past the shadow creatures and through the twisted and winding paths until he finally found the cave opening again.

He was too late, the storm had already started… thundering was roaring through the night sky and the wind was pushing the waves violently up and down. He took a look behind him and saw the shadows rushing out and coming towards him.

His decision was made, he ran for the skiff that he and the others had used to get to the island from the ship in the first place and he started off, watching the dark clouds over the island, the crash of thunder in his ears, the rain beating down on him as hard as it could.

The waves were crashing around him but he felt totally still, he had no thoughts except to survive, to escape... But everything in his being told him to turn back.

_you have to turn back_

Was it his conscience or was it his guilt?

He struggled against the waves in his little skiff, if he didn’t wash away it would be a miracle.

It took all he had left in him to fight against the storm, and it had taken hours but when he finally made it back to land, the sun had started to rise in the east, the storm was long gone and there was a peaceful quiet in the air.

He got off the skiff, tired, his body felt like he had been hit with a thousand hammers all at once.

_you just left them there_

He shook himself and crawled the rest of the way to the shore, digging his fingernails into the sand and closed his eyes.

His crew

Gone

_You left them…._

He went by the name Corazón de Leon, it meant Heart of a Lion… but from this moment forward he would only know himself as Corazón the coward.

He lay there for hours in the sun with nothing but the memories of his crewmates screams to keep him company.

He left them.

 


	3. The Spicy Rat Caper, Volume I

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In this exciting and epic Penny Dreadful adventure, our hero Corazon de Leon travels to Casterfalls to save a child from... being missing? I guess? 
> 
> He also meets some new friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Obviously since this is written as though Corazon was writing it, he embellishes and omits many things, changing words and quotations and making himself look cooler and better, I love writing like this because it means I don't have to write word for word what the actual oxventure was, I can add in what I want, I can change around wording, it's fun and it's really in character for Corazon to just not remember anything that wasn't involving him directly. 
> 
> I take some liberties by adding in scenes that never happened in the canon because it makes for smoother transitions and a better story-flow in a written form.

It was a beautiful day in Casterfalls as our hero Corazón de Leon came into the harbor with a load full of junk and a deep feeling of hunger in his stomach. He groaned as he heaved the heavy pack out of the skiff and onto the docks.  Usually he was quite strong and able to lift ten times his weight, but this was quite a lot of treasure.

Unfortunately, it contained none of the coins he had been searching for, but he shrugged to himself. No matter, he’d find ‘em eventually, and in the mean time he’d just have to watch out. He had time. He was fine.

He was a hero, after all.

“You can’t put that here” a gruff voice said, the dashing pirate turned around to face a skinny and angry looking man with an official badge. He squinted, the badge said he was with the “Dock Reserves”

“Under what authority?”

“The official statement of the Dock Reserves, that’s not a boat. That’s a skiff”

Corazón turned around and took a glance around, finally pausing on the tiny skiff he had taken here “I have a boat, it’s… over there!” he pointed at random to a large boat in the harbor. 

The skinny man sighed “That’s a _ship_ , sir. Not a boat, if you’re going to lie at least get the terminology right”

“Excuse me? I’m incredibly smart and persuasive.”

“Alright, I’m bored, win me over and I’ll let you park that… _thing_ there”

Corazón was no stranger to being charismatic enough to win over most anyone, he even won more than few duels that way. He wasn’t worried one bit. 

“Let me tell you a story” He said with a smile “ _I_ came from a very far away land where I was the most respected and well loved person, I come from a large family of well loved and respected people”

The man sighed again “Are you trying to tell me you come from a rich family?”

Corazón shrugged “I mean if the shoe fits” 

“Sir, I was not born yesterday. I have been in this world for a very long time, you actually expect me to believe you’re rich?”

“I mean yes?” Corazón hesitated for a minute “Okay, so you don’t believe me. Ha ha. Anyway, I am, so please let me pass without… no trouble, right?”

“I’m sorry sir, I mean I say that I am sorry but I’m not sorry, you are absolutely contemptible and I hate you, you can’t put your skiff in the harbor, go move it”

“I can’t.. drive it”

“You arrived in it, sir”

Corazón leaned to the side and squinted for a minute “Is that, do I see gold pieces in that drawstring bag?”

“Yes, that’s where I store the tie up fees”

Corazón nodded “Yes, yes of course I was simply wondering why is was in a box called ‘my belongings’”

The man straightened up and cleared his throat “It must have been accidentally misplaced or moved about, it’s not unusual”

“Correct me if I am wrong, but I don’t think you’re allowed to take money from the tie up fees and claim it as your own” he shrugged slightly “But what do I know, I’m just a sailor, just a pirate. Just a man who can cause you incredible discomfort if you don’t do exactly what I want”

“Alright, alright, fine. You can leave your damn skiff here.”

Corazón leaned in “I want some of that gold” 

“No!”

Corazón straightened up and crossed his arms “Fine, but you’re not getting any of my money, and if you disagree, I am quite loud” 

The man rolled his eyes and indicated that he would let the pirate pass. The charming pirate felt quite pleased with himself, as was usual, he was able to win over anyone in his way, talk his way out of any trouble.  This was shaping up to be a delightful day.

He started to walk towards the market, eager to sell off his wares and spend some of his well earned coin on things that he perhaps did not need, but desperately wanted. He saw a bit of a crowd forming around one particular area and decided to investigate it, approaching and pushing through the people in the way. He was face to face with a fancy looking notice pinned to the board.

MISSING SON:

I, Arlo Mayweather am looking for someone to help me retrieve my missing son, he has gone from his bedroom in the middle of the night.

REWARD OFFERED.

Corazón considered this for a moment, he definitely needed the money after all, he tore the notice down, reading further for the address of the man’s estate. 

“Excuse me” a voice said behind him “What are you doing?”

“I’m taking the notice, what do you think I’m doing?” He looked up and saw the man who had spoken, a half-orc man with green skin and slicked back brown hair, he had a youthful expression on his face but Corazón was wary of him, people that were too friendly in his experience were, well, annoying.

“Well I mean, what about anyone else? The notice says this man wants adventurers, not just one. Do you really think you can do all this on your own?”

“Buddy, I’m a pirate, a good pirate. I’ll have you know”

“Who are you people?” another voice spoke up, this time it belonged to a tiefling with a skin color of red, but not a blindingly painful red, or the kind of red you see when you look at blood.

“I’m Dob!” the half-orc said cheerfully, yep, Corazón thought to himself, this was one of those times where his snap judgement came in handy. 

“I’m Corazón” He said “I’m a cool pirate, that’s all you need to know”

“I’m Merilwen” a tiny voice came from somewhere to his left, he looked over and saw an elf he hadn’t spotted before with a headband of flowers in her hair and a braid falling gently over her shoulder.

The three of them turned to the tiefling, who crossed her arms “I’m Prudence, don’t laugh..you can also call me Pru.”

“So, why don’t we all team up and head to this Arlo Mayweather’s house?” Corazón suggested “We can totally do more together than apart. What are you guys like?”

“Well” Dob said “I’m a traveling bard, mostly I just go from place to place playing my songs to get some coin, but also I wish to find my sister who went missing when I was a small child, sick from rabies.”

“Oh goodness” the elf looked at him “How did you get rabies?”

“A wolf attacked in the forest, My sister… she went to get some potions or poultices to help with the pain and then she just never came back, I have no idea what happened to her and I’m scared that maybe she didn’t make it”

He looked down, the solemn silence was broken by Prudence, who wished to share her own information “I was a foundling child, abandoned by my parents who I assume didn’t want a tiny demon child and just gave me up”

“That’s horrible!” Dob said, a look of shock on his face

“Yeah well tiefling racism is rampant, I was taken into the care of a hermit who lived in a cave, he gave me the name Prudence, I guess he thought it was funny, he wasn’t very nice” She shook her head “But after I grew up and I wanted to see the world, I ran away from the cave and found out that everyone was horrible and racist and mean, and I was angry and I had learned some warlock tricks from the hermit man, and I wanted to form a pact with Cthulhu”

“What does that entail?” Corazón asked

“I mean it depends, sometimes I sacrifice things… other times I just rearrange the furniture in an arcane fashion” She shrugged “It just depends, really” She looked over at the elf “What about you?”

“I’m a wood elf, and a druid, I grew up in the forests and surrounded by nature. I’ve been around for quite a while, and when I was a bit younger I had found a small cat that was trapped in some barbed wire, I rescued him and named him Simon” She looked down at her feet, the crowd that had been gathered around them dispersed after Corazón ripped down the notice, and the four of them were left alone by the board as the sun shone brightly over the Casterfalls market.

“But elves live for a really long time and cats do not”

Dob’s eyes widened and suddenly started filling up with tears “What?”

“Little Simon passed away, but in his passing I learned a new spell”

“Animal resurrection?” Prudence offered

Merilwen gasped “No! _Warlock_. I learned an animal transformation spell, I can turn into a cat”

“That’s.. cool” Corazón said with a shrug

“What about you?”

“I already said, I’m a cool pirate with treasure and a hat, that’s all there is to me”

“You must have had a childhood at least” Dob said

“Nope, no childhood. I was always a pirate, I have been a pirate forever, my name is clearly real and don’t look into it” He flashed them a smile, they all exchanged glances and shrugged.

“Anyway, I think we should go investigate this missing kid, I think that it would be fun and we could all use some coin, right?”

Everyone vehemently agreed, and so the hero and his newly found friends set off to find the Mayweather residence as the sun blared brightly over the village.


End file.
